Carnivorous prehistoric birds for every American!

so, i just finished watching the debate, and, well, eh.
of course the debate featured thunder-thighed billionaire endorsed chocolate love god barack"trunk junk enthusiast" obama... and dark lord of the sith, john "emperor" mccain. seriously, i am no star wars geek or anything, but the more i look at this guy and his sly creepy grins when obama is speaking, the more i begin to convince myself that at any second this dust-farting scrotum-visaged maverick will jump up and shoot fucking lightning bolts out of his fingertips at barack, all while wailing a maniacal cackle.
politics is boring. these guys have ads that portray each other as baby-with-cancer-rapists and all they can do is smirk when the other guy is speaking and almost blow each other at the end of the debate. michelle obabma, though, she is pretty attractive,though, in a weird way. i may vote for obama simply because of his appreciation of a zaftig woman. cindy or sally or whatever her name is mccain looks like a scarecrow prostitute who came into some money. ain't gonna polish that straw-stuffed turd, honey.
anyway, my favorite part of the debate was when droopy's biological father, bob schaeffer, said, "every presidential canidate since nixon has proposed lowering our dependence on foreign fuel. well, in nixon's time, our fuel as a nation provided from foreign nations was 17-24%, and as of today, it is 60%. could you give me a concrete number, a number you believe we could actually achieve?"
oh snap, son.
of course neither of these meat puppets could do so, mccain was talking about pipelines and science and obama just flapped his lips and the same old bullshit spilled through.
which brings me to my point, pterodactyls.
i have been saying this for years. if presidential canidates are going to make audacious claims like giving billions to ease the AIDs crisis in africa or curing autism or reversing the retardation of the youth of america or making health care affordable or pulling out of iraq or whatever, i say pepper something in there that would get people excited about. like, perhaps, "With monies freed up from our incredibly ludicrous, unproductive space program, i will develop research focused on one thing-putting a pterodactyl egg in every american's hands by 2014."
this way, while we may never solve the health care crisis or make american children less fat or smarter, there would be the outside hope of a package arriving on your doorstep one day. a package with a pterodactyl egg in it.
you could do as you please with it. eat it, raise it, sell it.
think of the jobs it would create.
pterodactyl clean up crews, specialty pterodactyl customization shops, enormous omelettes for homeless people, the opportunities are endless.
while we are at it, i have said this a million times before, also. i wish arnold schwarzenegger could run for president. i would vote for him even if he ran on the slingshotting-puppies-into-industrial fans ticket.
why?
imagine arnold going to a peace talk with kim jong il, ripped to pieces, shirtless, carrying a bloodied battle sword and wearing a necklace made from the heads of insurgents.
bam, problem solved.
now imagine if he arrived to this meeting on a fucking pterodactyl.

or, you know, i'll just vote for obama and just go pterodactyl-less for four more years.