dogs is stupit.

"It's fun game, donovan, i don't know what your problem is."
"I just don't know, michael, it seems wrong."
"listen, dogs is stupit. they all loyal and shit. i tell them to sit up on that table and let me throw footballs at them, they do it. it improves your accuracy, see, gives you a live target. i have a career quarterback accuracy rating of like, what, 53%, i could use the practice."
"that may be true, but, you know, mike, dogs lead the blind, find bombs and drugs and dead bodies, pull people from burning buildings, track down criminals, guard peoples' homes and the like, it just seems wrong."
"donovan, we are celebrities, better yet, we are sports celebrities, we can do just about anything. shit, we could kill our ex-wives and their lovers and get away with it. look, you are a famous choke artist, right?"
"i suppose."
"i mean, 4 consecutive nfc championships and no ring? shit, i saw you puking in the superbowl. you had motherfuckin TO playing on your team and you couldn't get it done? philly needs a diversion from your ineptitude. are we gonna win the superbowl this year? no. fuck man, the phillies won. the fucking phillies. really? does lightning strike twice? probably not."
" i don't know. i don't know if anyone will listen to me whining about our lack of receivers or if any fans will care if i get benched for you, that's all."
"trust me, you could use the publicity. just do what i did. go on 60 minutes and fucking pretend like you are sorry. people eat that shit up. when it comes down to it, in sports, people, who am i kidding, fans only care if you win. you could slaughter a herd of baby pandas, have it plastered all over youtube, and no one would care, as long as you winning."
"That's a good point, hand me a pigskin."