The title pretty much tells the tale, but fuck it.
So, i'm leaving school today and it's pouring.
And i don't have an umbrella, because i am so smart.
So i say fuck it and decide to just walk in the rain.
The subway is about three blocks from my school.
It is rush hour. People are fucking everywhere.
I step to the corner of chestnut street and wait for the light, trying to lean under an umbrella here and there. I am at the back of the crowd and i feel a presence behind me. I give a half spin to see a homeless guy leaning against a wall, like two feet behind me.
In the pouring rain, he's just sitting there, hat in hand, angrily asking people for change. I could tell by the look on his face and the fact he was sitting on a filthy and now wet city sidewalk in a downpour that he was, let's say, disturbed. I am observant like that. And the single shoe, always a dead giveaway.
What happened next, well, i could hear him speaking, rather yelling, at my back.
“give a dime, man, a dime ain't shit”, and when it became apparent to him that i intended on doing nothing but ignoring him, “you won't give me a dime? A dime ain't shit and you ain't shit for not givin me it.”
He then began swiping at my back, nipping my coat. I prayed for a red light and tried to shift away from him, but the sidewalk was so crowded i only managed to stumble closer to the rabble raiser. He continued to swipe at my pocket and i used my foot to push him away, like when your dog is begging for food, you don't want to hurt it, you just don't want it close to you, begging.
This doesn't seem to be working and as i look up and the light turned red the fucking guy lunged and tried to put his hand in the pocket of my jeans.
So he misses and gets tangled at my feet and i'm doing everything to not step on this guy and it occurs to me that to anyone who hadn't witnessed the events leading up to this point, it looks as if i am doing a spirited breakdance/curbstomping routine on a transient's head.
I kind of pushed forward and through some people, had a second to look back as i crossed the street, and he was just laying there flailing.
I reached the subway without further incident.
The moral?
Always carry AT LEAST a dime at any time in center city philadelphia.
It may save you from an unfortunate run-in with the pocket pool bandit.
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